Welcome to Ray Flatt's weekly BubbaGram. ------ Thanks for all the kind emails I get back from BubbaGram readers...if I haven't responded to yours yet, just hold on cause I'm a fixin' to...that means real soon. This week is a couple of church stories...for those of you that have either heard me speak or read my book, you know I like to talk about Bubba and Earl, plus all there friends and kin. A frequent acquaintance is their preacher man Brother Russell. Just thought I would take a few minutes and bring you up to date on a couple of happenin' with Brother Russell. The other day, Brother Russell was hangin' out (actually fishin') with another preacher man. They made em up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car. One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" Well that was the last words they heard before the car went crashing into the river. Brother Russell looked over at his preacher friend and said, "Guess we should have just said BRIDGE OUT instead". Well no one seems to act like they listen to him on Sunday...so why should they pay him any mind during the week. I guess sometimes we hear what we want to hear and just don't get the real meaning of others are trying to tell us. I don't blame him for going fishin' especially after what happened at his church last Sunday. He was preachin' a sermon titled "Forgive Your Enemies." Toward the end of the service, Brother Russell asked the congregation, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" About half held up their hands. He repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands. He passionately repeated his question again and all responded, except one small elderly lady...the Widow Jones. "Mrs. Jones," inquired Brother Russell, "are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." She replied, smiling sweetly. "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-three," she replied. "Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson you are to us all. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world?" The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "It's quite simple, I just outlived them." Somethin' tells me that it would have been much simpler to forgive em'. I hope your not trying to simply out live your enemies...they might just fool you and outlive you. ------- As a public service we sometimes pass on information on missing persons. Today's info is looking for Bubba Jones. This is the last reported sighting: Twenty eight years ago, Bubba Jones an Alabama Mountain Man was drafted by the Army. On his first day of boot camp, the Army issued him a toothbrush. That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On his second day, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head. On his third day, he was issued a jock strap. The Army is still looking for Bubba Jones. And who said Bubba's don't know logic. ------- That all for now...as they used to say back in the country as the children left to find jobs - "Write if find work" Signed, Bubba Ray