Welcome to Ray Flatt's Weekly BubbaGram

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You may have heard by now that I have entered into a multi-million dollar agreement with the government. And many of you have contacted me to find out how you can do the same. It's real simple. All you have to invest is one dollar and pick 6 little numbers. They have this here drawing called a lottery where they pick six numbers. If all six of my numbers match theirs, I get a bunch of money. I've done my part, just waiting for the giver-ment to do theirs.

Which all this reminds of what happened to my Uncle Bubba and Cousin Billy Ray last week. They were on their way fishing when they realized they needed some gas. Billy Ray suggested that they go out by the Super Highway (that's Interstate to you city folks) and check out that new Gas station that was just opened a few weeks ago.

As they approached the station they saw a big sign which said,  "Free Sex with Fill-up". Bubba and Billy Ray pulled in and filled up their tank. As they were paying for their gas, Bubba asked about that free Sex.

The owner said that they had to play a little contest first. That Bubba had to pick a number from 1 to 10 and if he guessed correctly he would get his free Sex.

Bubba guessed 8 and the owner told him that he was close, that the correct number was 7. Sorry no Sex this time.

A week later, Bubba and Billy Ray were in need of gas again. Bubba decided they would go and give that Sex contest another try. After filling up, the owner gave them the same story to pick a number.

Bubba proudly guessed 2 this time. Again the attendant told him that he was wrong, but again close. The correct answer this week was 3 and there would be no free Sex this time.

As they were driving away, Bubba said to Billy Ray,  "I think we've been hoodwinked, flim-flamed and that game has been rigged, He doesn't ever plan on giving out any Sex. That man is an outright crook!"

Billy Ray replied, "Now calm down Bubba, thats simply not true.  It aint rigged. My wife stopped to fill-up twice last week and won both times."

So what do these two stories have in common? I might as well expect free Sex from the government than to think I going to collect on the lottery. After all, after the numbers are drawn, don't you sorta feel like Bubba that you been hoodwinked, flim-flamed and the whole thing is rigged. Oh, I forgot, someone eventually wins the big bucks and the education system supposedly wins every-time. Then I wonder why the education system still don't have enough money?

You may have thought Bubba was dumb for going back for a second try for free sex, but don't we kinda do the same every week when we go buy another lottery ticket. 

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I'm writing a new song titled "Why are six little numbers so hard to find?" If you have any verses to contribute please email them to bubba@ray.flatt.com.

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PS: If you got this eMail in error or would not like any future BubbaGrams (story on a weekly basis)...just send it back with the words UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject.