Welcome to Ray Flatt's Weekly BubbaGram. If you haven't heard, Bubba's son Leroy left home and got him a job in a big city supermarket. He wrote home and told his mama this story about his first day at work. A man came into the supermarket and tried to buy half a head of lettuce. Leroy who was working the produce area told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man persisted and asked to see the manager. Leroy said he would ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, Leroy said to his manager, "Sir, some cheap jerk wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As Leroy finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him so Leroy quickly added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to Leroy, "I was impressed by the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son? "Tennessee, sir," Leroy replied. "Well, why did you leave Tennessee?" the manager asked. Leroy said, "Sir, there's nothing but ugly buck teeth women and football players there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Tennessee." "No kidding!" replied Leroy. "What team and what position did she play? Guess it pays to think before you speak. Afterall, words spoken are easily changed or easily explained. ----- In our continued effort to provide useful and timely information, I have included the recall notice that was provided to us by one of our readers; MANUFACTURER'S RECALL NOTICE Regardless of Make or Year or Tithe Amount, all units known as "human beings" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named "Adam" and "Eve," resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect is technically termed "Serious Internal Non-morality," but more commonly known as "SIN." Symptoms of the SIN defect include, but are not limited to: a) Loss of direction b) Lack of peace and joy c) Depression d) Foul vocal emissions e) Selfishness f) Ingratitude g) Fearfulness h) Rebellion i) Jealousy The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service FREE of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus Christ, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. To repeat...There is no fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is P-R-A-Y-E-R once connected, please upload the burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Christ, into the SOUL component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will replace it with: a) Love b) Joy c) Peace d) Kindness e) Goodness f) Faithfulness g) Gentleness h) Patience i) Self-Control j) Everything He Has Is Yours Please see the Operating Manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, THE HOLY SPIRIT. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and accept his Word and He will take up residence on the premises. WARNING: Continuing to operate a human being unit without these corrections voids the Manufacturer's Warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and may ultimately result in the destruction of the human unit. Thank you for your immediate attention. Please assist by notifying others of this most important recall notice. God bless you always! ----- That's all from BubbaLand, talk to ya next week. Like always, if you have something to share with the group, just drop me an email. Be sure to pass this BubbaGram on to friends, enemies and family. They to can join the list at www.rayflatt.com. PS: If you got this eMail in error or would not like any future BubbaGrams (story on a weekly basis)...just send it back with the words UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject.