Welcome to Ray Flatt's Weekly BubbaGram. There seems to be much hula-balou about the release of the move "The DaVinci Code". It seems to be something that those of different faiths can agree upon - it's wrong. It's good when those of different faiths can agree upon some things and get together to share ideas. Needless to say it reminds me of a story (sent in this past week by one of our readers). A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students at the University of Tennessee. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods in the Smokey Mountains; find a bear; preach to it; and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the results of their experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him his first communion and confirmation." Pastor Billy B. Smith spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said Flanny, he became as gentle as a lamb. In fact, until the ambulance came, we spent the rest of the day praising Jesus." (For you Bluegrass buffs, sounds like the old song Preacher and the Bear). They both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape - near death, but recovering. The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start." Something tells me that we make this religion thing more difficult than it has to be. I guess it just goes to show, it's not how you finish that counts, but it sure helps matters to get off to a pretty good start. Back to the "The DaVinci Code". Guess anytime you do something based upon religion, it ruffles someone feathers. I should know. According to reports from my book agent in the field (Glen "Earl" Sutherland), I have a run-away best seller in my lastest book titled "Falsehoods and Errors Found in the Bible". According to Earl, every time he tries to sell one, the potential buyers runs away. That at least helps me maintain my claim to it being a runaway seller. Well that's not quite the truth. The real truth is that most people look at the cover, read the title and then get visibly upset. Once they take time to actually examine the book, it's not what they were expecting. Guess it's true that you can't judge a book by its cover. Well I decided to be like many others and jump on the band wagon of trying to make a buck. Thus, I going to be releasing my own Bible secrets revealed book entitled the "Bringing Understanding By Bible Authority" Code" or abbreviated as "The BUBBA Code". The basis of the "BUBBA Code" is revealing stuff in the Bible that people don't realize is there. For Example: 01) The Bible is full of lies...man lying to man, man lying to God, but not God lying to mankind. God is not a man that he can lie. 02) Jesus was a Homo-Sapien. Yep he was born and was a real human. 03) Jesus was a big time party goer. Per his moma's approval he turned water into wine. Constantly reading about him attending dinner parties. 04) Jesus was pestered by the Ol' devil himself. And you think your something by the temptations you face. Why he even got bombarded for 40 days and nights solid. 05) Jesus hung-out with sinners. He was often seen in the presence of tax collectors and other riff-raft. And we thought he only hung out in churches. I understand he still does show up at churches, the sad part is that many times he's not even recognized in his own house. 06) Jesus is bi-sexual. He loves men and women equally. 07) Jesus if not married, is going to be. He tells us of his future plans. He plans on coming back as a bridegroom to marry and elope with his church. 08) Since he going to marry us all, will that make him a Bigamist? I don't know, but it's mighty BIG of him in the midst of our condition. There is even more surprises in the Bible, but you will have to find them yourself by reading it yourself. They tell me that "The DaVinci Code" has sold more than 40 to 60 million copies. Something tells me it has got a way to go to catch up with the Bible. Don't know many people that have more than one copy or more than one translation of the DaVinci Code, but everyone seems to have many Bibles. Don't know many people that read that darn book more than once, but I do know people that read their Bible daily. If you get in trouble in your life, which are you going to reference? Could it be that one book is ALIVE and the other is just a book. "The DaVinci Code" is a made up story. The Truth always prevails. Don't spend your time attacking it. Lord knows we have enough other stuff to battle. ----- Bubba-ism of the week: "No one can ruin your day unless you give them permission." ------ That's all from BubbaLand, talk to ya next week. Like always, if you have something to share with the group, just drop me an email. Be sure to pass this BubbaGram on to friends, enemies and family. They to can join the list at www.rayflatt.com. PS: If you got this eMail in error or would not like any future BubbaGrams (story on a weekly basis)...just send it back with the words UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject.