Welcome to Ray Flatt's Weekly BubbaGram

July 26, 2006

In this crazy world we live tensions are getting pretty high. Just saw where Mexico has made a political statement. The have stated that they don't plan on participating in the next upcoming Olympics. 

The real truth is that anybody that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the Rio Grande to the USA.

-----

My 90 year old Aunt Bertha was arrested for shop lifting last week.  When she went before the judge, he asked her, "What did you steal?"
 
She replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.  The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can?
 
She replied "6."
 
The judge then said "I will then give you six days in jail."
 
Before the judge could actually pronounce the final punishment, Aunt Bertha's husband Uncle Buck spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
 
The judge said, "What is it?"
 
Uncle Buck said, "She also stole a can of peas."   

When someone's sins come to light, don't be one to pile on other noticable faults. Remember the hand that points the finger has three more fingers pointing back at them.

-----

Science sure has come a long way. Can you imagine this conversation in the near future.

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, "Lord, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did in the 'beginning'."

"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.

"Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's interesting. Go ahead and show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."

I think the "dirt" we all generate in our lives isn't fit for recreation. Thank God for his dirt that he made you and me.

-----

Hillbilly Ten Commandments

People in Tennessee have trouble with all those "shalls" and "shall nots" in the Ten Commandments.  Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, some folks in middle Tennessee got together and translated the "King James" into "Jackson County" language: The Hillbilly's Ten Commandments (I am told that this is posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro, TN.)

(1) Just one God.

(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.

(3) No tellin' tales or gossipin'.

(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'

(5) Put nothin' before God.

(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.

(7) No killin.'

(8) Watch yer mouth.

(9) Don't take what ain't yers.

(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.


Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think? Y'all have a nice day

-----

Bubba-ism of the week - "Life is simpler when you plow around the stump."

-----

That's all from BubbaLand, talk to ya next week. Like always, if you have something to share with the group, just drop me an email. Be sure to pass this BubbaGram on to friends, enemies and family. They to can join the list at www.rayflatt.com.
 
PS: If you got this eMail in error or would not like any future BubbaGrams (story on a weekly basis)...just send it back with the words UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject.