Welcome to Ray Flatt's Weekly BubbaGram September 13, 2006 Don't know if you all have been following the trial of Bobbie Joe. She was charged with murdering her husband, Billy Ray. I always thought of him as a caring and compassionate individual. In remembrance of our dearly departed Billy Ray, this is one of the last letters I got from him: Dear Bubba Ray, Let me take this opportunity to share with your BubbaGram readers some free marriage advice. It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Billy Ray. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Bobbie Joe. When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Bobbie Joe to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the lounge at the local golf course, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Bobbie Joe. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Signed, Billy Ray EDITOR'S NOTE: Billy Ray died suddenly on August 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club rammed up his rear end, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Bobby Joe was arrested and charged with murder; however, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that he accidentally sat down on it. Moral: Your actions can be annoying and actually speak louder than words. And yes, words can be deadly. There is eventual justice whether in this world or the next. ------ And speaking of words, knowing when to speak can be just as devastating. For example: A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, and had taken illegal drugs!" "I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people." Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and then gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him in confession." Moral: DON'T BE LATE, in person or with words! As Paul Harvey would say, there is always the rest of the story. ------ So try a little more communication in your relationships. But please don't over do making a point such as: A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." Moral: I bet he didn't get breakfast fixed for several weeks. ----- Bubba-ism of the week: "Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool." ----- Please pass this along to friends (and enemies). You or they can subscribe or unsubscribe at www.rayflatt.com