Welcome to Ray Flatt's Weekly BubbaGram September 27, 2006, FYI: Past BubbaGrams are now available on http://www.rayflatt.com/, follow the BubbaGram link. ----- The following is a letter to the editor I sent to the Tennessean this past week-end (you have to be a VeggieTales Fan to appreciate): They've attempted to take prayer and the Bible out of schools. And they are a constantly messing with the Boy Scouts to remove religion. So imagine my horror, disbelief and anger when I picked up my Saturday morning paper and read the front page headline "NBC edits VeggieTales for religion". For those of you not familiar with VeggieTales, it's been a children's' favorite (as well as for teenagers and adults) biblical based animated stories. No, it's not a cartoon, but real life practical application of how to treat others as presented by some very special entertaining animated characters. The key characters are Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber. Most of us Bubba/Redneck types have been encourage by the recent programming coming out of NBC (formerly known as the No-Body-Cares network). With recent new shows such as "My Name Is Earl", "Deal or No Deal" and now the home of Sunday Night Football, thus I was proud to hear that they had added VeggieTales to their Saturday morning lineup. But NOW they don't want to have GOD or religion mentioned or referenced! I bet the ACLU is proud...they didn't even have to file a lawsuit. Not being able to personally contact Bob the Tomato or Larry the Cucumber, I have the following imaginary interview in mind. I asked, "Bob, what do you think of those rotten tomatoes at NBC for taking out all references to God or religion?" Bob replied, "Bubba, you know they can slice me or dice me, but it just wouldn't be Godly of me to comment on my true feelings. I just have to keep forgiving them for they know not what they do." So I turned to Larry and asked, "Larry, does this put you in a pickle due to the fact that you're a standup kind of guy when it comes to your religion?" Larry calmly answered, "Bubba, for me to be in a pickle I would have to baptize myself in vinegar. You know me well enough to know, that I wouldn't sour myself to preserve the image they want me to portray." As a question to both of them I asked, "How do we explain this to all your loyal fans?" In unison they both replied, "We plan on being the Tomato and Cucumber God intended us to be, and not some garnish for the political correctness sandwich that NBC is making." End of interview. In this humble writer's viewpoint, I don't know the DEAL the creators of VeggieTales have with NBC, but like so many of their fans and supporters, I would be real proud of them to tell NBC "NO DEAL". If NBC can get this mess straighten out, wonder if they would be interested in a series titled, "My Name is Bubba". ----- Bubba and Billie Joe just got back from their vacation of a lifetime. They took a very special trip to Italy. The real story of their vacation actually started the week before they left. Billie Joe was at her hairdresser Norma Jean getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband Bubba. She mentioned the trip to Norma Jean the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continental," was Billie Joe's reply. "We got a great rate!" "Continental?" exclaimed Norma Jean. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste.", perkily responded Billie Joe. Norma Jean interrupted, "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?" Billie Joe trying to stay upbeat replied, "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed Norma Jean. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." A month later Billie Joe again came in for a hairdo. Naturally Norma Jean the hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained Billie Joe, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered Norma Jean, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope." Billie Joe proudly responded, "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me." A somewhat skeptical Norma Jean leaned backed, smirked and smartly asked, "Oh really! What'd he say?" Billie Joe beaming ear-to-ear leaned forward and replied: "He asked, where'd you get that God awful hairdo? Moral: Don't try to rain on Billie Joe's or anybody else's parade. Guess NBC been tried to rain on VeggieTales parade. Somehow I think God will get the last word. ----- Bubba-ism(s) of the week - Multiple ones from first graders. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds. 1. Don't change horses.......until they stop running. 2. Strike while the......bug is close. 3. It's always darkest before......Daylight Saving Time. 4. Never underestimate the power of......termites. 5. You can lead a horse to water but...... how? 6. Don't bite the hand that......looks dirty. 7. No news is......impossible. 8. A miss is as good as a......Mr. 9. You can't teach an old dog new..........math. 10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll.....stink in the morning. 11. Love all, trust...... me. 12. The pen is mightier than the.........pigs. 13. An idle mind is......the best way to relax. 14. Where there's smoke there's...... pollution. 15. Happy the bride who...... gets all the presents. 16. A penny saved is.........not much 17. Two's company, three's......the Musketeers 18. Don't put off till tomorrow what......you put on to go to bed. 19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and......you have to blow your nose. 20. There are none so blind as......Stevie Wonder. 21. Children should be seen and not......spanked or grounded. 22. If at first you don't succeed......get new batteries. 23. You get out of something only what you..... see in the picture on the box. 24. When the blind lead the blind......get out of the way. ----- That's all from BubbaLand, talk to ya next week. Like always, if you have something to share with the group, just drop me an email. Be sure to pass this BubbaGram on to friends, enemies and family. They to can join the list at www.rayflatt.com. 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