Welcome to Ray Flatt's Weekly BubbaGram October 11, 2006 Two guys from Ashland City are quietly sitting in a boat fishing and sucking down their favorite beverage when suddenly Earl says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Bubba slowly sips his drink and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find." Did you ever wish your life was different? Did you ever look around and envy those that had it easier than you? Such was the case with Earl...Earl was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen. God, in his infinite wisdom, granted Earl his wish. The next morning, sure enough, Earl awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills, and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1:00 P.M., and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids, and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies, and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 P.M. he began peeling potatoes, and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops, and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathe the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M., he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he (or should I say she) managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, Earl awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back." The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were." "However Earl, you'll just have to wait nine months. You got pregnant last night." Moral of the story: What was Earl thinking? Be cautious of being envious of others. You may end up in their shoes and have more to carry than you ever imagined. ----- Does this sound like your day? Old man Johnson, young boy Billy Bob and a donkey were going to town. Billy rode on the donkey and old man Johnson walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. Old man Johnson and Billy Bob thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." So they then decided they'd both walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. Billy Bob and old man Johnson figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned (very sad, but true). So what's the moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass goodbye! Dern, I probably shouldn't have said that. ----- On a lighter note... Junior urgently needed a few days off work, but he knew the Boss would not allow him to take a leave. That's when he came up with the brilliant idea, he thought that maybe if he acted "CRAZY" then the Boss would tell me to take a few days off. So Junior hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises. His coworker Betty Sue (may have been blonde, not sure) asked Junior what he was doing? He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he was "CRAZY" and give Junior a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?" Junior told him he was a light bulb. The Boss replied, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." Junior jumped down and walked out of the office. That's when Betty Sue followed him. The Boss yelled to her, "And where do you think you're going?" Betty Sue responded, "I'm going home too, you don't expect me to stay and work in the dark!" Moral: May your day be enlighten as well. ----- Bubba-ism of the week - "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking his favorite beverage." ----- That's all from BubbaLand, talk to ya next week. Like always, if you have something to share with the group, just drop me an email. Be sure to pass this BubbaGram on to friends, enemies and family. They to can join the list at www.rayflatt.com. PS: If you got this eMail in error or would not like any future BubbaGrams (story on a weekly basis)...just send it back with the words UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject.